Ibiza's Hidden Gem: Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses - Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!
Ibiza's Hidden Gem: Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses - My Honest, Messy Take (and Why You NEED To Book)
Okay, so I’m back from a trip to Ibiza, and let me tell you, my bank account is still weeping. But honestly? Worth. Every. Penny. Especially after experiencing Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses. Forget the usual Ibiza madness for a second. This isn’t about pounding beats and flashing lights all the time (though, hey, it's Ibiza - those are available if you want them!). This is about pure, unadulterated luxury mixed with that authentic Ibizan chill. And it's… well, it’s pretty damn unbelievable.
This review? It's not going to be some perfectly polished travel brochure. It’s going to be real. I'm going to tell you about the ridiculously fluffy towels (seriously, I almost stole one), the times I felt utterly blissed out, and yeah, maybe even a few minor quibbles because hey, nothing’s perfect.
First off, let's get the boring (but important) stuff out of the way, and hit that SEO HARD
Accessibility: While the villa itself is more geared towards luxury, it does offer facilities for disabled guests. This isn’t a massive, all-out accessibility extravaganza, but they are making an effort. You should contact them in advance to discuss specific needs to get the best experience.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: This is where it's a bit trickier. I didn’t experience a specifically 'accessible restaurant' per se, but the staff were incredibly accommodating and the layout, while spread out because of its size, could be managed. Again, CHECK with the villa on what’s available for your needs beforehand. Wheelchair Accessible: as mentioned above, they are making an effort. Internet, Internet, Internet! Okay, this is crucial, especially if you’re like me and need to occasionally, reluctantly, work (or, you know, just post those envy-inducing Instagram stories).
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! And it's FAST. I streamed movies, uploaded videos, and video-called home without a hitch. Huge win.
- Internet [LAN] - available if you want it.
- Internet services: Excellent.
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Also excellent. Covered anywhere you were.
Things To Do & Ways To Relax (The Good Stuff, Finally!)
Okay, buckle up, because this is where Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses truly shines. And, trust me, you're going to want to read this.
- Spa/Sauna/Steamroom: I’m a sucker for a good spa, and this one? Chef’s kiss. The sauna was divine, the steamroom… well, let's just say I spent a lot of time in there, feeling like a pampered, slightly prune-y goddess.
- Massage: Oh, the massage. I opted for the deep tissue, and let me tell you, it was transformative. My shoulders, which carry the weight of the world (and, let's be honest, a hell of a lot of travel stress), practically melted. The massage therapist was incredibly skilled, and the ambiance? Pure zen. I may have even snored. Don't judge me!
- Pool with view, Sauna, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Several pools, all breathtaking. One infinity pool with views that stretched out to the horizon, creating the perfect backdrop for some serious relaxation and Instagram gold. Trust me, you'll be fighting for this spot!
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Didn't get around to these, but honestly, I kind of regret it! Next time, I'm booking the whole damn spa menu.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Not my thing, but it's there if you want to punish yourself before indulging in the rest of the villa's delights.
- Getting Around: They make airport transfers easy. Car parking is free, Valet parking, Car park [on-site].
Cleanliness & Safety - The Reality Check (Sort Of)
Look, I'm a bit of a germaphobe. So, how did Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses measure up?
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Professional-grade sanitizing services: Okay, this part was reassuring. I saw the staff constantly cleaning, sanitizing, and generally being super vigilant.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Nice touch. You can choose to opt-out of daily cleaning if you prefer.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Yep. Standard practice, but good to know.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere!
- Safety/security feature, Alarm clock, Smoke alarms, Fire extinguisher: Present and correct. I felt safe.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Get Ready to Eat! (and Drink!)
This, my friends, is where things get really exciting. Prepare to loosen your belt. Or, you know, just embrace it. This villa knows how to do food and drinks.
- Restaurants, Poolside bar, Bar: Okay, plenty of options. They have multiple restaurants, including some with stunning views. The bar? Amazing cocktails. Seriously.
- A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant: Depending on your mood, both are there!
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Alternative meal arrangement: The breakfast buffet was a work of art. Fresh fruit, pastries, eggs cooked to order, everything you could dream of. And room service is available for breakfast.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Coffee was great.
- Happy hour: A MUST. Get stuck in.
- Desserts in restaurant: Oh. My. God. The desserts. I still dream of the chocolate mousse.
- Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Healthy options, too!
- Vegetarian restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: a great mix here - something for everyone.
- Bottle of water, Snack bar, Room service [24-hour]: Essential. Always.
Services and Conveniences - They've Thought of Everything!
- Concierge, Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage: The usual suspects, but all executed flawlessly. The staff are super helpful and go above and beyond.
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential in Ibiza.
- Business facilities: If you must work, they have you covered - Xerox/fax in business center, Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meeting stationery
- Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop: Convenient!
- Facilities for disabled guests: As mentioned above, a good attempt.
- Air conditioning in public area: Definitely a necessity.
- Smoking area: Essential for some, although everywhere is non-smoking.
- Terrace: perfect for a drink.
For The Kids:
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids meal: Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses is very family-friendly, I was surprised and pleased.
Available in all rooms, The Nitty Gritty, the Details:
Okay, let's get down to the actual rooms.
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub… you name it, they've got it. Seriously, everything. Even a scale (which I tried to avoid).
- Additional toilet, Mini bar, Refrigerator, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea… Yep, all there.
- Free bottled water: Always a welcome touch.
- Blackout curtains: Essential for those late nights (and early mornings if you're trying to catch that sunrise).
- Desk, Extra long bed, Laptop workspace: Practical too if you can drag yourself away from the pool.
- In-room safe box, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless: And the internet is consistently great.
- Satellite/cable channels, On-demand movies: If you really want to hide in your room.
- Hair dryer, Mirror, Private bathroom, Separate shower/bathtub: All the essentials of a luxury stay.
- Reading light, Seating area, Sofa: Comfy and spacious.
- Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Wake-up service: All the usual suspects.
- Window that opens: Can be good or bad, depending on the heat.
My Quirks and Anecdotes:
- The Slippers: Those slippers they provided… I wore them everywhere. To the pool, to the spa, to breakfast… I may or may not have considered smuggling a pair home.
- The Soundproof Rooms: I actually tested the soundproofing. (Don't ask.) And it worked perfectly.
- The Staff: Seriously,
Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses, Ibiza: A Messy, Wonderful Week (Probably)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your brochure-perfect itinerary. This is my attempt at a week in a villa in Ibiza, and knowing my luck, it's gonna be… well, let’s just say I'm packing extra travel-sized deodorant.
Day 1: Arrival and That Thing Where You Realize Your Luggage is Probably in Iceland
- Morning (and a half): Depart London (after, let’s be honest, a hasty pack and a near-meltdown because I couldn’t find my passport – turns out, it was stuck to a particularly judgmental receipt in my handbag). Flight (hopefully) to Ibiza. Pre-holiday anxiety kicking in – is my passport really in my carry-on this time? Did I remember to switch off the iron? (Important questions, people!)
- Afternoon: Touchdown! Hopefully the sun hasn't fried the entire island yet. Find the transfer (praying it’s not a beat-up, sweaty van. Seriously, I’m not a fan of van sweat). The drive to Villa Sa Tanca Den Lloses. Cue the initial "OMG, this is it!" moment, followed immediately by a frantic search for the wifi password. Essential.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Unpack (or, you know, attempt to). Take a deep breath of that Ibizan air. The Fridge Stocking Debacle: My god, I'm convinced I packed enough snacks and overpriced hummus to feed a small army. The grocery store run was chaotic – screaming children, broken Spanish (mostly on my part), and a desperate plea for the "best local wine" from a guy whose t-shirt read, "I Ibiza Because I Can." I'm already feeling the sun, and the early stages of holiday paranoia. Did I get ripped off? Is this bottle of wine actually decent? Am I allergic to something I just bought in a bag?
- Evening: First sunset! Maybe a quick dip in the pool (hoping it's not freezing), followed by nibbling on a questionable olive and trying to strategize the week. Planning is key (said while staring blankly at a perfectly good map of Ibiza. I'm terrible at planning). Dinner – hopefully something edible that doesn’t require any actual cooking skills. Pass out early from sun, wine, and the existential dread of realizing I’m supposed to be relaxing.
Day 2-3: Poolside Bliss (Except When it's Not)
- Mornings: Wake up early, full of the delusional belief that I'll be a "morning person" on this trip. Read a book… for about five minutes before the sun demands my attention. Settle in by the pool. Sunscreen. And more sunscreen. (I burn like a vampire in a disco).
- Mid-day: Attempt the highly challenging task of doing nothing. Fail. Realize I’m already bored and start planning a pointless excursion. Panic-Google “things to do in Ibiza other than being a sun-worshipping layabout”. Contemplate a boat trip (anxiety levels: high; sea sickness potential: 90%).
- Afternoons: The art of the perfect tan (or in my case, the art of turning a slightly less-red shade of lobster). Maybe a siesta (if I can resist the urge to check my phone every five seconds).
- Evenings: Dinner Roulette: The restaurant choices! So many choices. Tourist traps, hidden gems, places with questionable reviews written by people who seem to have had very different experiences than me. The food and the whole experience is a gamble. One night, a restaurant which claims its the best fish in town, but one bite had me thinking the fish was older than me. Another night, a brilliant restaurant where the paella was so good I nearly licked the plate. The difference is, and I like to learn the hard way, what is good is subjective.
- Quirky Observation: The number of people who attempt to Instagram their perfect pool selfies. It's like a sporting event!
Day 4: Beach Days - The Sand, the Sea, and My Eternal Quest for the Perfect Beach Bod… Which Remains Elusive
- Morning: Beach day! A valiant attempt to find a semi-secluded cove. Arrive at the first beach: packed. The second beach: windblown. The third (finally): beautiful, but with a relentless tide that seems determined to steal my towel.
- Mid-day: Sun, Sand, and Sanity: The sea is cold. I manage to get sandy in places that should definitely not be sandy. Contemplate life choices while watching bronzed bodies stroll by with effortless grace. (Note to self: Invest in a better swimsuit. And maybe a personal trainer. And possibly a personality transplant).
- Afternoon: Lunch at a beachside chiringuito (if I can find one that isn’t overrun by screaming toddlers). Attempt a conversation in my atrocious Spanish, resulting in a lot of confused looks and maybe a free shot of something questionable.
- Evening: Dinner in a more bustling town, like Santa Eulalia or Es Canar. Maybe experience the infamous Ibiza nightlife… from a safe distance. (My stamina is not what it used to be).
- Emotional Reaction: The sheer joy of the sun on your skin, the smell of the sea, the feeling of sand between your toes…it’s almost worth the sunburn and the existential dread of aging. Almost.
Day 5: Exploring (Or, The Day I Get Lost and Question My Life Choices)
- Morning: Rent a car. (Praying the rental agency understands my frantic hand gestures and that I don't accidentally crash into a herd of goats). Drive… somewhere! Attempt to follow a map (or try to trust Google Maps, but always second-guess it).
- Mid-day: Get hopelessly lost. End up on roads that are more like overgrown goat tracks. Question my navigational skills and my sanity. Scream at the GPS. Eventually stumble upon a hidden gem – a tiny, family-run restaurant with the most amazing tapas. (Proof that getting lost is sometimes a good thing… mostly).
- Afternoon: Explore a quaint town like Sant Josep de sa Talaia. Check out the local shops, buy a trinket that I’ll probably regret later, and try (and fail) to look nonchalant while trying to order gelato.
- Evening: A fancy paella at a restaurant. (Or, if I’m feeling adventurous, attempt making it myself. Prepare for a kitchen disaster).
- Messier Structure and Occasional Rambles: The "doing nothing" is so hard! I think I am very bad at it. I start to get fidgety. My brain starts to wander on tangents. My anxiety starts to bubble again. I look longingly at the fridge and have a snack. Then I get lost in thought and realize I'm staring into space, and I become even more anxious. What even is relaxing?
Day 6: The Day of Doubling Down - Dalt Vila, and the Magnificent Climb
- Morning: Head to Dalt Vila, the old town of Ibiza. Pack water, pack a hat, pack a good attitude.
- Mid-day: The climb. The climb. It's not just a climb up a hill really, it's a spiritual journey! Up cobblestone streets, past whitewashed houses, catcalling alley cats, and tourists. The views from the top? Breathtaking. And so worth the effort.
- Afternoon: Wander through the charming streets, getting caught up in the history, the art, the atmosphere. Eat lunch at a cafe with a view. And maybe, just maybe, buy a few too many souvenirs, feeling the giddy joy of spending money on things I don’t need (but want!).
- Evening: A final, celebratory dinner. A chance to reflect on the week. Am I more relaxed? Probably not. More tanned? Definitely. More confused about the meaning of life? Perhaps. Another stunning sunset!
- Stronger Emotional Reactions (good or bad): Triumph! The sheer exhilaration of reaching the top of Dalt Vila! I beat the sun beating me! The feeling of pride. The joy! I am alive! I am here!
Day 7: Departure… and the Sweet, Sweet Relief of Returning Home
- Morning: Pack. Say goodbye to the villa. A rushed breakfast, and then a quick final sweep of the house to make sure I'm not leaving behind anything too valuable (or embarrassing. Or both).
- Afternoon: Transfer to the airport. The end of the journey, and onto another. Reflect on what the island gave me. (And what it took).
- Late Afternoon/Evening: The flight home! Arrive back to reality – jet-lagged, sunburnt, and with a suitcase full of questionable souvenirs. But also with a handful of memories and a much-needed break. Whew. This has been an experience.
- Opinionated Language and Natural Pacing: Ibiza, you were great, but next year, I'm considering a trip to somewhere that doesn't involve quite so many stairs.
Alright, alright, settle down. So, what is the "Stuff" we're pondering? Let's be honest, it's... *everything*. Yes, the universe, the meaning of life, and what even *is* time anyway? But also, the small, seemingly insignificant things. Like, the way your socks mysteriously disappear in the dryer (seriously, where do they *go*? I had a whole theory once involving gnomes). That’s the "Stuff." Everything.
Right, so the point of this... *thing*... this FAQ? Frankly? I'm still figuring it out. Someone – probably a very organized, probably slightly annoying person – told me to do it. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I might actually enjoy talking about, well, anything. Plus, it's a good excuse to procrastinate on… you know… *actual* important things. So, win-win? Maybe?
Whoa. Okay. Deep breath. What happens when we... you know... *poof*? This is one of those questions that keeps me up at 3 AM. Truthfully? I haven't the foggiest. I've heard all the theories. Reincarnation? Maybe. Heaven and hell? Possibly. Returning to the source? Could be. Honestly, I'm leaning towards a very long, super-duper deep sleep. Just give me a good blanket, and a perfect temperature, and lets get right to it.
Ugh. The meaning of life. Fine. Fine. Don't look at me! I'm just a person with a keyboard and a slightly unhealthy caffeine habit. I can't definitively answer this. Okay, I think it's whatever you make it. Maybe it's about loving people, creating art, appreciating a truly glorious sunset (they get me every time, by the way), or trying to make the world a little less… terrible. Finding your own joy? That's a good starting point. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go think about this… which of course, has no meaning.
Ugh, the key situation. The bane of my existence. The absolute *worst* thing about being an adult (tied with paying taxes). Seriously, I swear they have a secret portal to another dimension! They'll be right there, *right there*, and then… gone! And then, of course, you find them in the least expected spot: the fridge, a shoe, under the cat, I wish I knew the cause. This is a conspiracy, I'm telling you! A key conspiracy.
Oh, it's addictive. It's a black hole. It's a bottomless pit of cat videos and… well, let's be honest, a *lot* of arguing. Yes. The internet. That shiny, tempting, never-ending buffet of information, entertainment, and utter distraction. And the algorithms, the constant stream of new content, the likes, the comments… It's like a digital siren song. I’m trying to get out! I really am!
Ah, the good stuff. My favorite things... Okay, let’s see. I'm a sucker for a good book. I could happily spend a day curled up with a novel. Sunshine is a must; I'm practically solar-powered. A truly excellent cup of coffee (don't judge my addiction!). Bad puns. The cheesier, the better. And my cat, Mr. Whiskers, who is an absolute fluffy menace, but I adore him. He also needs to eat, so that's a favorite thing, now. And snacks. Let’s be honest, I really like snacks. All snacks. Always.
